


not my proudest moment(s)

by CanBreeSee



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: 5+1 Things, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Gay Zuko (Avatar), Jealousy, M/M, Protective Sokka (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:54:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanBreeSee/pseuds/CanBreeSee
Summary: “Sokka, you get weird whenever I talk about people like... that,” he tried to explain, which was hard because he never understood it. When they were younger, back when they first met, he thought maybe it was just because Mai was from the Fire Nation. But he hated Jet, too. He’d let himself get hopeful once, wondering what would happen if Sokka told him he was jealous. That he wanted Zuko in the way they got him But it never came, and it never changed. So he’d learned to avoid the topic altogether. “Remember Mai? Or Jet? You freak out and don’t talk to me.”Fuck.Sokka was in love with Zuko, wasn’t he?Or,Sokka and Zuko get jealous. Well, mostly Sokka gets jealous.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 668





	not my proudest moment(s)

**_i. Mai_ **

Sokka doesn’t know what it is, but he just doesn’t like Mai.

Well, he supposes he could say it was because the first time he met her, she’d been trying to kill him. But Zuko was in a similar situation and he liked him just fine. Mai saved their lives, and helped get his dad and Suki out of the hellmouth of a prison. He should be eternally grateful and thinking only lovely thoughts of the scary girl that throws knives and has only one facial expression.

But whenever Zuko mentions her he just gets a sour taste in his mouth. He tells himself that it’s just because she’s Fire Nation. And it’s hard for him to see anyone in the Fire Nation as a good guy, but it just doesn’t sit right.

When Zuko talked about her, he looked happy. Not a lot of excitement or passion or anything, but… happy. He gets a smile on his face and he  _ never  _ smiles.

He doesn’t wanna tell Zuko or anything, but everytime he hears her name, he can’t help but frown. Or grimace. He thinks about what their dates must have been like. Just two angry ridden teens sighing and pointing out things they hate. It doesn’t sound very fun to him. He thinks Zuko needs something who’s gonna push him, and make him laugh. Someone who’s different from him, not just a carbon copy with boobs and knives.

Not that he cares.

  
  


**_ii. Jet… and Katara_ **

The Ember Island Players  _ sucked. _

Like, really really sucked. Sokka was sitting in the back row wondering how of all the misadventures and sticky situations that they had been in, he had never been more miserable than he was watching this play.  _ A play _ .

But he couldn’t help it! It was all so  _ wrong. _ He was portrayed as a bumbling idiot, even after Kyoshi Island! 90% of his character was falling down and cracking jokes about food. The other 10% was complaining about his lack of bending. It was ridiculous.

Nobody else seemed to be having a good time, either. Save for Toph and her bizarre screaming pro-wrestler counterpart. Katara kept monologuing (which, okay, was actually pretty funny at first but he was over it now) and Aang had tits. None of it made sense.

That being said, when they got to Ba Sing Se and saw the shaggy haired Fake Jet get crushed onstage, he kept an eye on Katara. He didn’t want her to cross the bridge from annoyed to genuinely upset, especially not when they had a whole nother act to get through. Not that he thought she was hung up on him or anything, but still. It was hard, really hard, to watch Yue die again. Even under the veil of bad acting, worse writing, and the whole thing being completely wrong.

Katara didn’t seem to react to it much. Zuko, however, stilled in his seat, Sokka could hear his breath hitch when he asked, “Did Jet just… die?” from the row ahead, and huh, Sokka didn’t even know Zuko  _ knew _ Jet. How the hell did that happen?

“It was really unclear.”

Zuko nodded his head and looked at the stage, looking kind of shaken. Sad, maybe? Sokka thought it was strange, but didn’t dwell on it too much, instead putting his attention back on the swamp fire unfurling in front of them. Sokka’s counterpart cracked another joked about eating, this time asking if they could cook up the  _ fresh corpse in front of them _ . His frown got even deeper. What the fuck was going on?

The play was filled with stuff like that. Not only did they reduce them all to stereotypes, but they were also crazy. Violent, emotional, stupid.  _ Savages _ , Sokka thought. Makes sense. Zuko was right, it was all propodanda. This was how the Fire Nation saw them. All of them.

After he got over the shock of what they were seeing, he told himself it was nothing to get all up in arms about. It was dumb, and  _ silly _ , so he took it in stride. Getting as much in on the fun that he could. He would have to get his hands on that Fake Sokka, though. Because no matter what these people thought about him, he couldn’t have his comedy reputation at stake.

So he sat back and just watched it, half-heartedly, more focused on putting the moves on Suki. That was, until he saw Fake Zuko and Fake Katara all over each other.

Sokka shot up in his seat, sucked in from the moment they met in the cave and that weird babymaking score started playing.

“I’ve always found you very attractive,” Fake Katara projected. He glanced down at Katara and Zuko,  _ who were sitting next to each other _ , which he didn’t think was weird before but why were they? Didn’t Aang want to sit there? They refused to look at each other, moving apart until they were practically squished up against Toph and Aang.

Obviously, that wasn’t real, right?

Because Katara was his little sister and she definitely didn’t have anything going on with  _ Zuko _ . Zuko was his friend, kind of. He wouldn’t do that. Besides, what about Aang? He was super into her, borderline obsessed. And he was pretty sure Katara was close to getting on board with that, so she wouldn’t hook up with Zuko.

Obviously.

He knew that.

_ But _ while they  _ definitely  _ didn’t  _ make out in the North Pole _ , maybe these Ember Island clowns had noticed something that he didn’t. Because it  _ would _ kind of make sense. Their weird tension, Katara being all erratic lately, Zuko barely even talking about Mai at all. So maybe, while this stuff hadn’t happened  _ yet _ , they wanted it to. Which would be totally messed up.

He glared at the back of Zuko’s head, suspicious. He kept his distance for most of the night, racking his brain to figure out a way to bring it up. He settled on something easier first. Maybe just bringing up the show. An easy part of it (aka, no Katara and none of that super traumatic shit they just saw Fake Zuko go through.)

“How did you know Jet?” Sokka asked him when they were back at the beach house, gathered in a group for dinner. 

“Oh, um…” Zuko blushed when he answered. Huh. “In Ba Sing Se. We kind of… ran in the same circle. For a while. Not very long. Once he realized Uncle and I were firebenders he tried to tell the Dai Li. We said we weren’t so we got in a fight and… he got in trouble.”

“But you  _ were. _ Also, you had time to run around with the Freedom Fighters?”

“I told you, we were living as refugees. We weren’t following you or trying to fight. Just working in a tea shop.”

He guessed that made sense. “I guess, but  _ Jet? _ ” he hoped he wasn’t actually dead, because if so he was hardly being respectful. But come on. That guy was a creep. “I never understood what Katara saw in him.”

Zuko’s head whipped up, going from Sokka to Katara. His sister gave him a desperate look, clearly unhappy with him bringing her into this. Her little…

“You and Jet?”

“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” she insisted, eyes flickering to Aang in a way she probably thought was subtle. “We kissed  _ once _ , before we realized how skeevy he was.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Sokka rolled his eyes, “You mooned over him for like a week. Even before he tried to drown that village, he was a total jerk.”

The conversation moved on from there, usually Sokka would love to tease his sister, but there were more pressing matters at hand. Still, he thought he’d let it rest. Maybe he should talk to Zuko privately. He was being really quiet. Even more than usual. So once they were done eating, he took him aside on his way back to him room, asking if he wanted to take a walk. Zuko looked confused, but agreed. So there they were.

“Are you okay, man?” Sokka asked. It was a real question. He had been pretty messed up during the show. Even though he’d felt all…  _ weird _ about the firebender after the Katara stuff, he wanted to make sure he was okay. They were friends now, after all. “I noticed… you were pretty upset. At the show.”

Zuko nodded, “I’m fine. Turns out Toph gives pretty good advice. She talked me down from it.”

“Oh,” He didn’t realize they were that close. “Thats… that’s good.”

“Was there something else?”

“Nah, not really, I just…” Sokka sighed, willing himself to push out, “You’d tell me, right? If there was something going on between you and Katara?”

Zuko stopped walking, body stiff as he turned to look at the other boy.

“I wouldn’t be  _ that  _ mad, y’know.” Lie. “And I wouldn’t tell Aang or anything. I just… Gotta look out for my little sister.”

He braced himself for an answer, but instead just heard laughter. A lot of laughter. Zuko was throwing his head back and the smile on his face was bigger that he even thought Zuko’s mouth could  _ get _ . He had never heard Zuko laugh before, he’d rarely even seen him crack a smile. It would be nice under different circumstances.

“I know I’m usually hilarious, but I don’t see what’s so funny.”

“You think there’s something going on with me and Katara?” Zuko asked between giggles, Sokka furrowed his brow.

“I didn’t  _ think _ so, but the Ember Island Players obviously did. And you’ve been acting all weird around her all night.”

“I always act weird around her, she hates me and I’ve seen her bend someone’s  _ blood _ and turn them into a puppet,” he insists, tears of amusement threatening to drop from his good eye. “I’m trying really hard to stay on her good side here.”

“She doesn’t hate you that much anymore,” Sokka tries, as if it helps.

“Still,” he’d calmed down now. No more laughter, but his lips were still turned up a bit at the sides. “I, uh… there’s nothing going on with Katara. At all. Nothing ever will, either.”

“Why, what’s wrong with her?” Sokka all but yelled. Obviously he didn’t want anything going on, but what did he think he was better than her now or something?

“Nothing. I’m just not…” Zuko took a deep breath. “Like that.”

Sokka looked at him, confused.

“How I knew Jet?” He said slowly, refusing to meet Sokka’s eye all of a sudden. “We kind of had a thing.”

“A  _ thing?” _

“I didn’t want to tell anyone. I know I’m still on thin ice here, I couldn’t risk you all finding out about it and turning me away. Not when there’s so much at stake.” Zuko looked around, scanning the perimeter to make sure no one was around. Then he learned in closer to Sokka and,  _ huh he sure is warm _ , whispers, “I’m gay, okay? But please don’t tell anyone. Aang needs a firebending teacher. We can’t stop now.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry,”

“You’re  _ sorry? _ ” Sokka repeated, still trying to understand everything that was coming at him. “Why are you sorry?”

“The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable.”

“No one’s gonna care about that.” Sokka rolled his eyes, but then he looked at Zuko. Really looked at him. He looked so vulnerable, and terrified, and maybe he  _ did _ think people would care. Sokka couldn’t imagine that they would, but Zuko had been sure enough about it to keep this part of himself secret. “Is that a big deal in the Fire Nation?”

Zuko shrugged, but his discomfort spoke for him. Sokka glanced at his scar, the mark of his asshole father, and realized it shouldn’t be a surprise that Ozai would’ve been a dick about this, too.

“Well, nobody’s gonna care about that here,” Sokka promised him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “At least, I really doubt it.”

“Oh.” Zuko started to smile again, he damn if making that guy smile wasn’t something to be proud of. “What’s the problem then?”

“Problem?”

“With…”

“Oh, right,  _ Jet,”  _ He had almost forgotten. Ugh, he wished that he did. Remembering it again still made his stomach feel weird. “I don’t know, just… that guy? Of all the guys, that guy? What did you see in him?”

“Does it matter?”

“I guess not.”

“It’s probably the same thing your sister saw in him,” Zuko said,  _ as if that made it better.  _ “He was… hot.”

“He’s not hot.”

“Excuse me?” Zuko choked out a laugh.

“He’s not!” Sokka insisted, standing his ground and taking his hand away to cross his arms. “He’s… dirty and mean and just kind of an asshole!”

“I don’t think those things are mutually exclusive,”  _ Really _ ? Sokka thinks.  _ You choose now to make a joke? _

“Pssh,  _ I’m _ hot,” Sokka said, a cocky grin painting onto his face. “He’s just another bro with a superiority complex.”

He swears he sees Zuko’s eyes flicker down his body, but then his smile falling again and  _ oh no oh no he made it weird. _ Why did he say that? Why did he have to… puff his chest like that and do some dick measuring contest with some guy who’s not even here? And in front of  _ Zuko _ . He kicked himself, and tried to change the subject as fast as he could.

“Sorry,” he told Zuko, hoping he wouldn’t say something stupid again. “I shouldn’t be… grilling you on your dead boyfriend,”

“He wasn’t my boyfriend,” Zuko said back. “But I am… sad. I hope he’s not dead.”

“I’m sorry that you felt like you couldn’t tell us,” Sokka said honestly, pausing for a second and then adding, “Especially that you couldn’t tell me.”

Zuko’s eyes shined back, golden and open. He can’t believe he used to be scared of this guy. Now he couldn’t imagine the days without him. Zuko didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. Sokka nodded his head back towards where the others were. He wasn’t angry anymore. He thought about what to say to Zuko the whole walk back, thinking the perfect thing would just come into his mind. It didn’t. So when they got back to camp, he decided to go for honest. Stopping Zuko before they separated, he told him the truth.

“I’m really glad you’re here.”

  
  


**_iii. a series of suitors_ **

One thing Sokka had found out quickly after he began work as the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador for the Fire Nation, was that the people here liked to gossip.  _ A lot. _

Like, all of them. The guards, the ambassadors, the servants and cooks, all of them. He loved joining in, he was no saint. But recently, he’d been noticing that they gossiped about Zuko. A lot.

And again, usually he’d be all over that. But they’re gossiping about things he didn’t know about it. Apparently, according to his staff, Zuko was a complete degenerate.

“Lee was leaving his room the other night,” Nia giggled in the kitchen one morning, the group snacking on leftover pastries from breakfast.  _ “Completely _ debauched. I swear, he wasn’t even wearing the same clothes he came in. And he was only in the palace a few hours.”

Sokka forced down his danish to ask, “Who?”

“The Fire Lord, of course!”

Sokka choked, waving off any hands that tried to .

“I’m not surprised,” Siju piped up next to him. “Why else would someone like that come here? Besides to bring our good leader  _ company.” _

“Does that happen a lot?” Sokka couldn’t help asking, his cheeks suddenly feeling hot.

They all stopped to give him a look, and erupted in laughter.

“Are you kidding?” Nia asked between hiccups. His eyebrows furrowed and he shrugged.

“He’s always got his  _ gentleman callers  _ coming in and out,” said Nozo, the cook who was setting out another round of eggs. He didn’t feel very hungry anymore. “I’m surprise you didn’t know. The two of you seem so close.”

“We are,” he insisted instantly, not sure why he was so protective about it.

They went on, clearly content to stay on this Zuko gossip. Once they were done talking about  _ Lee _ , whoever that was, they started giggling about his other conquests, describing in detail the lewd evidence towards their couplings (or, in one case, throupling). Sokka stayed quiet, stuffing his face with whatever he could reach despite him having completely lost his appetite. Nia tried to bring him back into the conversation a few times, he was usually a very enthusiastic gossip, but his only contributions were a few hums and nods as he stared at the table, eventually taking his leave to spar with Zuko early.

He felt on edge, hot, bordering on sick. He was  _ angry, _ and while he was aware that he had no good reason to be that didn’t do much to soothe him. He felt like he wanted to punch something, or someone. Preferably someone. But Katara always said that that was always his first instinct, so maybe it wasn’t a big deal. He’s just surprised, that’s it. Surprised that his best friend was doing all this stuff and not talking to him about it. Maybe a little hurt or angry at him for keeping it a secret.

He tells himself that, but it’s not Zuko he wants to punch. It’s the faceless guys who had been with him.

He walks into the dojo, not surprised when he sees Zuko is already there. He’s always early. Even when he’s running a  _ country _ he’s more punctual than Sokka. Annoying.

“Hi!” Zuko says, looking chipper and happy to see him. Or maybe just satisfied after his apparent all night romp in the hay the night before.

“Hey,” Sokka barks back, and immediately regrets how cold he’s being when he sees Zuko sink back into himself, smile gone. Confusion and a furrowed brow replacing it.

“Are you… okay?” Zuko asked him. Sokka sighed, because he couldn’t like to him. He knew what he was about to bring up. And he  _ knew _ that it was stupid and there was no reason to be upset. But he couldn’t stop himself.

“Did you…” he made some kind of vague gesture with his hands, which he guessed was  _ supposed _ to be sex. “With Lee?”

“Which Lee?” Zuko asked, which was probably the wrong response, because Sokka scoffed and threw his hands in the air.

“Did you do it with  _ multiple Lees?” _

“Sokka, I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Zuko wished he would drop it, unsure as to why this was relevant. And, hardly a well kept secret. Nearly the entire palace knew that Zuko was, in their words, a degenerate. He didn’t talk about it, but his many special houseguests were not hidden during their visits.

“Why won’t you just answer the questions?” Zuko flinched at his friend’s tone. He sounded genuinely upset, and Zuko couldn’t figure out why. “Why don’t you ever even  _ talk  _ to me about that stuff? I talk to you about girls all the time!”

Yes, he certainly does. He’s had to endure many a detailed discussion about his love life with Suki, or, since their breakup, the occasional local girl he’s taken to bed. He wished he hadn’t. “I guess I didn’t think it was important.”

“I thought I was your best friend,” Sokka sulked, Zuko resisted the urge to roll his eyes only because he didn’t want to encourage his friend’s childishness.

“You are,” he insisted. “But we’re not… like that. I like to keep these things separate. My personal life and my Fire Lord duties and… you.”

“Oh, so I’m not your best friend then. I’m just in one, small division of your life and there’s no 

“Sokka, you know that’s not true.”  _ You’re the most important person in my life _ , he might say if he was honest.  _ And I don’t want to lose you. No matter what it takes. _

“Whatever,” the warrior scoffed, Zuko’s frown got deeper.

“I don’t know why you’re acting like this,” he said. “I don’t talk to you about guys because I know you don’t like hearing about it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Sokka, you get weird whenever I talk about people like that,” he tried to explain, which was hard because he never understood it. When they were younger, back when they first met, he thought maybe it was just because Mai was from the Fire Nation. But he hated Jet, too. He’d let himself get hopeful once, wondering what would happen if Sokka told him he was jealous. That he wanted Zuko in the way they got him But it never came, and it never changed. So he’d learned to avoid the topic altogether. “Like, dating or sex or anything.”

“I do not!”

“Uh, remember Mai? Or  _ Jet _ ? You freak out and don’t talk to me.”

“That’s…” he had a point, as much as Sokka didn’t want to admit it. This was not making things better, was it? “That was a long time ago.”

“I guess,” Zuko shrugged, looking anywhere besides Sokka. “But it’s not like you bring it up, either. Did you think I’ve been celibate for five years?”

“No! Maybe… I don’t know.”

“I don’t understand why it’s a big deal.” That much was certainly true. They met every once in a while to satisfy carnal desires and simulate a kind of intimacy and closeness. Nothing less and nothing more. “It’s not like I’m  _ with _ any of them, there’s no deeper meaning or connections in all this. It’s just…”

“Sex.”

“You said you didn’t care,” It suddenly dawned on Zuko that maybe it was because they were  _ men _ , that he was all up in arms. He had said he didn’t care, that it was normal where he came from, but maybe since it was  _ Zuko _ , who he spent so much time with and worked so closely… “That I was…”

“I don’t!” he insisted, but still had anger radiating form him, his stance rigid and jumpy. “Besides, liking guys is different than fucking all of them you can find in the Fire Kingdom.”

Zuko froze. “Fuck you, Sokka,” he snarled, and turned around to leave. Maybe sparring today wasn’t the best idea.

_ Fuck _ . “I’m sorry, okay?” Sokka had fucked up. That crossed a line. He took a deep breath, trying to let it wash over him. Trying to focus on getting through the fight. “I’ll drop it. Just… can we just spar? Please?”

Zuko is wary, giving him a look that says as much. But he stops, sighs, and draws out his dao swords. Sokka mirrors him, lining their weapons up to start their fight. He takes a deep breath, trying to wash the frustration out of him, and strikes. Zuko blocks him easily, of course, and they’re off.

Sparring has always been something they do together. Since they got back to camp from Boiling Rock, whenever they had a free moment they’d grab their swords and find a clearing or empty room or something to practice their combat. Sokka appreciated it a lot back then, even though he wasn’t very good compared to Zuko, who had already been training for a decade by then. Aang and Toph and Katara got to train all the time, and it was just another thing he couldn’t do. Their friendship may have started at the Boiling Rock, but it was built on hours of trying to hit each other with swords, which sometimes gave them enough adrenaline to get talky after.

They know each other’s habits and tactics. After years of Sokka’s training and Zuko’s pencil pushing, they’re evenly matched now. They push each other. Zuko’s better at dodging, but Sokka’s strikes carry more force. The dao swords in Zuko’s hands are quicker and precise, but Sokka’s sword is made out of  _ space _ . They’ve both grown since they started, too. Zuko used to be taller than him.  _ Ha _ , not anymore. He had a few inches on him now, and 

Apparently he had been looking too much, because before he could comprehend what was happening Zuko had disarmed him, flicking his sword on the ground with one of his and raising the other to hover by his throat. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but it happened fast enough that it caused a shock in Sokka, who froze and stared wide-eyed at the firebender. He was smirking, clearly proud of himself for getting the best of Sokka, and probably of his reaction. His face was intense, it always was when he trained, eyes dark and zoned in on his opponent. Sokka gulped. Something in him stirred. He didn’t have time to worry about what it was doing to  _ him _ , because his mind was busy fussing over how many people have been on the receiving end of this look before.

Is this what Zuko looked like when he was turned on? Is this what Zuko looked like when he was  _ fucking? _

“I win.” Zuko said simply, low and raspy as ever. Sokka would say something back, if his mouth wasn’t so dry and his tongue so tied.

Instead brought his hand to the blade, carefully pushing it away to get in their position again. Zuko raised his eyebrow, but joined him. He struck first this time, and they found their rhythm again. Sokka tried his best to focus on the task at hand, and not let his mind wander. He got about 10 seconds in before he failed.

He couldn’t help it. Zuko was distracting, more so than normal. He couldn’t look at him without feeling things everywhere. His mouth watered, his dick was straining in his pants, his heart  _ ached, _ which is somehow even more embarrassing.

Maybe it’s because this was their thing, he considered. Maybe he thought this was a special side of Zuko that no one else saw. He never made a parallel, between sex and fighting. Even with Suki, the two were kept separate. But now that his brain wouldn’t let him stop watching Zuko, he could see it. His movements were languid, exact, passion stained his face and he took in every part of his partner, of  _ Sokka _ . He fought like he was making love.

So maybe that was it. Maybe he just fights too sexy and it got all messed up in his brain and thinking about Zuko being like this with anybody else made him…  _ a little bit _ jealous.

Just thinking about it fueled him, giving him a burst of energy that he used to fake Zuko out and strike on the other side. The Fire Lord gasped a bit and smiled at him mischievously. Pouncing forward, their swords caught each other over and over as they crossed the room. Sokka kept pushing this time, refusing to be bested again, trying to stay alert as he watched his adversary. And then, so small that Sokka almost doesn’t see it, Zuko falters. It’s just barely a slip, but it’s enough to Sokka to get the upper hand.

He’s gaining on Zuko, his steps becoming quicker than the duo-yielding man walking backwards. He’s still putting his swords up, they’re still clanking loudly between them when they hit. But they’re almost to the wall, and once Zuko’s back hits it there’s no way Sokka won’t have him on the ropes. He grins, and Zuko’s eyes squint. He searches the room, inside his head, anywhere, trying to think of a way to get out of him. But Sokka is boxing him in and his grip and his footing are getting unsteady. A heart beats in his ears, whether it’s his or Sokka’s he’s not sure, but it’s teasing him. Getting faster and faster until it reaches its tipping point as he feels his back against the wall.

Sokka has him. He should raise his sword to end it. Zuko is looking up at him, golden eyes peeking from under dark hair. His lips are parted and when his tongue pops out to wet them, ever so slightly, Sokka realizes he wanted to do the same.

He wants to reach out and hold him. He wants Zuko to look at him like this every day. And he sure as hell doesn’t want him looking at anyone else this way.

Fuck.

Sokka was in love with Zuko, wasn’t he?

Spirits be damned, that made so much sense. That’s why he wants to kiss him, and spend all his time with him, and gets so pissed whenever anyone goes near him. He’s been gone on this guy for a long time and was too stupid to realize it. That was embarrassing.

He was still staring at Zuko’s mouth, it’s heaving out hot air while his chest rises and falls under Sokka’s. He doesn’t raise his sword. Zuko gives him an incredulous look, but seems to understand that they’re done fighting. He waits for Sokka to make a move for what to do next. Sokka has no idea.

“I think I’m in love with you,” Sokka just kind of… said. Like it wasn’t about to change everything. Zuko’s eyes went wide, even the one that could barely open.

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, I think…”  _ Don’t pretend you don’t know, idiot.. _ “No. I… I am. I’m in love with you.”

But then Zuko was kissing him. Sokka jumped in surprise, shocked and still confused about how they got here, but then he actually  _ felt _ Zuko’s lips moving against his. They were warm and felt like velvet and his smell was overwhelming. Sokka wanted more. He dropped his sword on the ground, thankful that it didn’t fall on any toes, and tentatively brought his hands to Zuko’s face. Slowly, he swiped his tongue across Zuko’s lower lip, trying to savor the taste. Hints of smoke and firelily. Zuko’s mouth opened, and he moved onto exploring that. His tongue was hot, and felt so good against Sokka’s that he groaned against it. Zuko took this as a good sign, pressing up on the man holding him and losing his own swords to wrap them around Sokka’s broad shoulders.

Zuko was frantic, trying to deepen the kiss, trying to feel every part of Sokka. But this felt too new to him, he wanted to take this part slow. To savor every second of it.

Keeping a hand on Zuko’s cheek, letting the other trace down past his neck, shoulder, side, settling on his waist, Sokka pulled away. Zuko tried to follow him, keeping their lips together for as long as he could. Sokka smiled at that, letting their foreheads touch and he breathed it all in.

“Good?” he asked. Zuko’s eyes were still dark, maybe even darker, but his smile was softer. He laughed under his breath, nodding at Sokka.

“Good.” he confirmed. “Very good. I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”

Sokka thought for a moment. Thinking back to all the times he’d fought for Zuko’s attention, or felt desire for him, or burned with jealousy at his trysts. “Yeah, I think I have, too.”

They spend the rest of the afternoon together. It isn’t much different from a normal day, except for the fact that Sokka grabs Zuko’s hand under the table at dinner, and keeps an arm around him while they walk when they can. They talk some. Sokka makes it clear that if they’re gonna do this, it needs to be all of it. Full on boyfriends. Monogamous and dates and even telling their friends. Zuko smiles at him, and tells him that he wouldn’t have it any other way. Sokka believes him, and spends the whole day with a spring in his step.

The two retire to Zuko’s chambers together, not wanting to give the night up. Both afraid, somewhat, that if they go to sleep they’ll wake up and this day will have never happened. They kiss lazily over Zuko’s paperwork and Sokka tells him when he needs to rephrase something or when he’s asking too little in his proposals.

It’s nice. They barely recognize that so much time has passed before the sky goes dark and the city is quiet.

“I should go,” Sokka says once there’s no more light streaming in through the windows. He stands, but

“Do you have to?” Zuko stands to meet him, grabbing his hand with a pout.

“I don’t  _ have  _ to,” he smiles. “But… I should.”

“Why?”

“Because,”  _ because I don’t want to disappoint you. Because I have no idea what I’m doing here. Because I just found out I’ve been in love with you and I don’t know what to do about it. _ “I don’t wanna mess this up.”

“We don’t have to do anything,” Zuko assured him, and Sokka tried not to blush because he was  _ felt _ and was  _ being treated like _ some shy schoolgirl right now, which he totally  _ wasn’t _ . “We never have to do anything you don’t want to. But… I’d love you to stay. If you want to.”

With the way Zuko was looking at him, Sokka is pretty sure he’d do just about anything.

They don’t stay up much longer. Zuko still has work to do, but he always does, so he stops for the night. They’re mostly silent, and Zuko got worried because Sokka isn’t telling jokes. Sokka laughed at that, and told him that he’s okay. Just happy. Content.

When Zuko goes to dress for bed, Sokka tells himself that he can use that time to think.  _ Does _ he want anything to happen tonight? Does he not want anything to happen? What would that even look like? Sokka had never been with another dude before. He’s pretty sure Zuko knew that. How different would it be? In his mind’s hazy cloud of general want for Zuko, he hadn’t stopped to consider the logistics.

Then he catches a look at Zuko, robes off and stripped down to his underwear. And his mind stops racing about what he should be doing, all he thinks is  _ Zuko. _

He must feel Sokka’s eyes on him, because he meets his gaze with a smirk. He sees Sokka’s pupils blow out as they rake down his lean body. Defined muscles, smooth skin, usually hidden under his royal attire. He couldn’t help but make a show of it, nothing too big, just jutting out his ass when he bent down, twisting and flexing when he stretched.

“Oh, now you’re just showing off,” Sokka teased him, stepping through the threshold to get his arms around him again. Zuko smiled, leaning into the touch. Enjoying the feel of Sokka’s soft clothes and cool hands against him.

“I would never,” he said back, completely deadpan aside from the smirk hidden in Sokka’s chest.

“Yeah, yeah…” Sokka was rubbing circles on his back. It was comfortable, soothing. Zuko could feel himself unwinding from the day better than he ever had. He brought his arms around Sokka’s large body to make it a proper hug. He thinks he could stay like this forever. Or at least during all his free time. As soon as his Firelord duties for the day were finished, he could slide into Sokka’s arms and feel his tan arms squeeze him and not have to say a word.

Sokka’s heart was still beating faster than usual, he could hear it even through his bad ear. It had been a long day, surprising and exciting and one of the best of Zuko’s life, but long nonetheless. Zuko places a small kiss to Sokka’s chest without thinking about it, meaning for it to be comforting. Sokka lets out a shiver.

“I love you,” he says again, quiet and slow but sounding absolutely sure. Zuko’s heart flutters.

“Yeah, I love you, too,” he says back, and Sokka is grinning like an idiot.

Tapping Zuko’s chin with his fingers, Sokka brings his lips up for a kiss. Spirits, he can’t believe he gets to do this now. Just kiss Zuko whenever he wants. Feel that warmth against him. He doesn’t deserve this, he swears he doesn’t. Zuko is beautiful and way too kind considering the cards he’d been dealt and the  _ fucking Firelord. _ Sokka is just the lucky sonuvabitch who’s known, as soon as he kissed Zuko, as soon as he realized he’s in love with him, that he’d spend the rest of his life trying to make him happy.

Zuko sighs into the kiss, wrapping himself even more around Sokka. He welcomes it, because every part of him that Zuko is touching is on fire. He’s already aching for more, the time it took for Zuko to wind him up in honestly embarrassing. But who the fuck cares? He lets Zuko slip his way into his mouth, their tongues dancing again, quickly turning into a fight. Sokka felt the strong tongue and hands and rough skin on him and couldn’t imagine it any other way. He relished in this new feeling, pushing against Zuko at every pull. He felt fingers dancing at his tunic, just barely going under to feel his skin.

“Ah,” he pulled away from Zuko, pausing to give him a last peck on the nose that crinkled in response. “You wanna see the goods.”

Zuko rolled his eyes, removing himself from Sokka’s hold and walking back towards the bedroom, grumbling something under his breath.

“No, no, I get it!” Sokka called, following after him like a puppy. “It’s only natural. You finally get the chance to see my manly physique, of course you wanna jump on it.”

“Yes, because before this you were so  _ shy _ ,” Zuko scoffed, and Sokka’s face went wide in mockery.

“Did you just make a joke, babe?”

Zuko froze at the pet name, and at first Sokka thought he had done something wrong, crossed some line he didn’t know about. But then Zuko was pulling him in again, claiming his lips in a kiss as he fell on top of him onto the bed.

Okay, he’ll definitely keep that in mind.

They made out lazily, Sokka gave Zuko his weight, letting him press into his body with no reservations, and Zuko took it happily. Eventually his fingers found the hem of his shirt again, and this time Sokka let it be taken off, thrown on the floor and forgotten for the night. Their lips were getting slick and Zuko was starting to feel the burn of Sokka’s stubble on his chin when he pulled away just enough to speak.

“I meant what I said,” he muttered, golden eyes staring up at him. “We don’t have to do anything you aren’t… ready for.”

Sokka lifted his hand to his face, caressing his cheek and tracing his fingertips on the scar tissue etched into his cheek. Zuko sucked in a breath, but didn’t try to push him away. So Sokka shook his head, throwing caution to the wind, and bent his head down to kiss him again.

He rolled his hips against the man under him, experimenting with how it felt. Which was awesome, by the way. He moaned into the kiss, shifting so their clothed cocks were lined perfectly against each other. Zuko’s hands trailed lower, passing the muscles on his back to grip his ass tightly, bringing them closer together.

It was a mess of hands and tongue. They were clining to each other, roaming and exploring and  _ kissing and kissing and kissing _ . Sokka tore his lips away from Zuko’s only to trail kisses down his pale neck, stopping when he saw a dark, angry looking hickey at his collarbone.

“A souvenir?” he meant it to sound playful, but his eyes are too dark and his voice too forced for that. Zuko glanced down, and his eyes went wide.

“It doesn’t…” he’s tongue-tied. “They didn’t mean--”

“Shh, I know,” Sokka silenced him, licking over the bruise and moving back up his neck to make marks of his own. Zuko gulped and gasped under him, bucking his hips at the pleasure, trying to find the friction he desired. Sokka brought one hand to his hips to hold them down as he sucked mercilessly on his neck. Zuko groaned, and Sokka’s thumb crept its way towards his dick, stroking ever so slightly.

“Sokka--” he choked out, writhing under his touch, hands sprawling to feel every inch of the other man that he could.

“Yeah, baby?” he sighed back, and Zuko shuddered. Hands were in Sokka’s hair and he was pulled back up to another forceful kiss. He palmed Zuko through his underwear, feeling the hard cock in his hand and savoring the noises that Zuko purred into his mouth. He wanted to pull out every bit of pleasure and preening that Zuko had in him, needed to show him he wasn’t making a mistake. That he could be just as good as the guys he’d let into his bed before.  _ He needed to be better _ . Because Zuko was his now, and that thought shot straight to his already aching cock.

He stroked Zuko as they kissed, nipping and licking while he jerked him firmly but slowly, wanting to draw it out. Zuko moaned under him, before getting a wicked look in his eye. Before Sokka could question it, Zuko had flipped him over with a quick swirl of his hips, no different than if they were sparring. Sokka was right. The intensity of Zuko’s eyes was familiar. The way his body moved was familiar. He may have never been with a man before, but he knew how to do this dance with his best friend.

It was Zuko’s turn to kiss his way down Sokka’s neck. But he didn’t stop there. He went lower, tongue dragging across his chest, stopping to nips and suck at his nipples. Sokka groaned. Why did that feel so  _ good _ ? Teeth scraped across his abs and were followed by slow, sensual licks. He felt Zuko’s hands grip him, kneading him, he cried out loud, “Spirits, Zuko, yeah… so good, sweetheart.” It didn’t last long, though, because Zuko went down there for a reason. He tugged of his underwear, tearing them off and immediately he was encased in the Firelord’s hot, skilled mouth.

“Fuck, Zuko,” he was mesmerized by the scene in front of him. Zuko looked beautiful all the time, but Blowjob Giving Zuko was quickly climbing the ranks to being his favorite. The way he would slowly take his whole shaft down, staring from under his dark lashes with his liquid gold eyes, until he got to the absolute brim, the head of Sokka’s dick hit the back of his throat and dark curls tickled his face. And the way he’d follow that up with obscene bobbing and slurping, sucking Sokka down harder than he thought possible. It was absolutely filthy, and he couldn’t get enough of it. “You’re good at this.”

But when Sokka started to feel his belly tighten, the pleasure swirling around, a telltale sign he was close, he had to bite down on his hand and tell Zuko to stop. He did, bringing his head up like he had just been kicked or something, but any worries left his face as Sokka manhandled him back onto the bed, discarding of his  _ utterly useless _ briefs in the process.

“You like that, don’t you?” Sokka asked him, a genuine, bashful question that would seem out of place if he wasn’t so, well,  _ him. _

Zuko nodded, blush so bright and hot it was red and warm to the touch. “Yeah, I do. Especially with you.”

Sokka groaned, loud and guttural and it had Zuko smiling smugly. “How are you so  _ perfect?” _

But he didn’t get a chance to answer, because Sokka was all over him. “I have--” he said, pointing toward his bedside table, “Oil,” he rasped out. Sokka bit his lip, trying to keep himself from making a particularly  _ embarrassing _ noise, and reached over to grab it. He should be nervous, about doing this. Something he’s never done before. But he looked down at Zuko, who he wanted to bad. Who he trusted so much. And his instincts took over.

Sokka wasted no time slicking his fingers up and pushing one, slowly, into Zuko. The reaction was immediate. Zuko was sweating and whining and grinding as soon as he felt Sokka’s finger enter him. Sokka smirked, pumping it slowly sneaking in another to join it. He pushed back the tight ring of muscle, his fingers scissoring the man under him open.

“Another,” Zuko begged, and Sokka couldn’t say no to that. He had three in him now, slicked up and fucked into his hole. He curled them just right and Zuko was screaming.  _ Woah, _ Sokka thought, doing it again. Zuko’s hips shot up, trying to find even more of that white hot feeling burning inside him as Sokka massaged his prostate, sending his dick straight onto Sokka’s sliding together. They moaned harmoniously, and Sokka looked him in the eye, taking his free hand and framing his face, stroking just a little as he asked, “You ready for me?”

Zuko, of course, nodded, very enthusiastically. Sokka pulled his fingers out of him, both of them already missing the contact when he grabbed the oil again to lather up his cock. He placed himself at Zuko’s entrance, keeping their eyes locked as he pushed in. The heat and pressure was almost too much. They saw as their faces dissolved into ecstacy. Zuko had never felt so full. So complete.

Sokka checked in a few times to make sure Zuko was okay, that last thing he wanted was to hurt him, but the firebender was so blissed out he could barely respond. Sokka tucked his head down to nuzzle into his new lover’s chest. Breathing in the way he smelled and offering up lazy kisses and lazy words of affection as he rolled his hips to drill into Zuko deeper with every thrust.

“Agni, Sokka,” he mumbled, spreading his legs and arching his back to give him a better angle. Sokka could sing it felt so good. “Harder, deeper, fuck…”

Sokka looked up at him, if he wants it hard, he’ll give it hard. Determined, he planted a searing kiss on his list before pulling out. Zuko opened his mouth to protest, before he felt Sokka’s strong hands grasp him and throw him around. Pressing him hard onto the mattress, facedown. His hips were pulled up in the air, and after a swift smack on his ass, Sokka was fucking him again. Harder and deeper. Fuck.

“Did those other guys fuck you like this,  _ Firelord?” _ Sokka growled in his ear, leaving him groaning and writhing and grinding back against the rock hard Water Tribesman behind him. “Huh, baby? Did they fuck you this good?”

“Never,” Zuko gasped out, and it was no lie. Nothing compared to this.

Sokka grabbed his growing hair into a knot, pulling it harsh and fast to one side to give him open access to his long, creamy neck. He sucked and licked all the skin he could reach, still pounding into him.

“Yeah, I can tell,” he said, his free hand was rubbing his collarbone, where he’d found the hickey Lee had given him. “Knew none of them could take care of you right. Look at you, so desperate for it. You’re fucking loving this, aren’t you?”

God the  _ mouth on him _ . It shouldn’t be shocking, considering how much Sokka loved to talk during normal conversation, but still, Zuko hung onto every word, more shocked and aroused by the second.

Sokka’s hips, still thrusting hard and fast into him, started to spasm every so slightly. Zuko whined, throwing his own but to meet him and bringing his hand to his throbbing cock, fucking into it as Sokka fucked into him. When Sokka saw this, his jaw went slack, pressing more kisses on any skin he could find while he chased Zuko to their orgasms.

“Fuck, you wanna come, sweetheart?” he growled, Zuko, the sweaty mess, nodded. “Yeah, you’ve been so good. You deserve it, baby. I’m getting close, too.” His movements reflected as much. “Spirits, look at you. So good. So perfect. All mine. Right, Zuko?”

“All yours, Sokka,” he gasped out, grinding his hands back and jerking himself as hard as he could. “All yours. I’m about to==”

Sokka hummed in appreciation, holding Zuko close when he started to tremble under him, fucking him through it. Zuko was all but screaming at Sokka pressed into his spot, rubbing and massaging until Zuko’s limbs gave out and he was sobbing in pleasure, bracing himself on the bed. Sokka roared, that was all he needed to pick up his pace and swiftly find his own release, 

Once they were done, Sokka flopped down and peppered kisses all over Zuko, both of them asked if the other was okay, and rolled their eyes when they asked again. In the morning, when he woke up, Sokka panicked when he didn’t feel Zuko beside him, then remembered that he always rose with the sun. Stretching and walking over to peer out the window, he saw the firebender in the garden that was overlooked by his chambers, practicing his form and throwing flame around like it was nothing. Zuko caught his eye, giving him the biggest smile he’d ever seen on the Firelord, and Sokka returned it, running down to meet him.

Their first time together wasn’t the slow, gentle lovemaking that they’d share later. But they’d have plenty of time for that. When Sokka didn’t have to fuck the memory of everyone else out of him.

  
**_iv. the wedding_ **

“Yes, I  _ know _ that you didn’t want to do a formal wedding party,  _ all I’m asking _ is if you  _ were _ , would Best Man be me or Zuko?”

He saw Zuko roll his eyes besides him, but ignored it, instead keeping his attention on Aang

“Sokka, I don’t know, I don’t think I could choose,” he said sincerely, but then his face lights up with mischief and he says, “Zuko.”

The  _ completely wrong choice for Best Man _ himself let out a huge howl beside him, and grabbed Aang by the shoulder as they laughed. Traitors, both of them.

They didn’t have much more time, the ceremony would begin soon and they’d have to take their seats in the audience. Well, it was kind of an audience. Aang and Katara opted to do a traditional Air Nation wedding, so everyone there was basically in a big prayer circle around the wedding pair.

The wedding was beautiful, of course. Heartfelt and magical. His sister really did look beautiful, and Aang looked so  _ happy _ . They deserved this, after all the things they had to go through when they were just kids. His hand found Zuko’s at some point during the ceremony. Their fingers intertwined and he held on for dear life as tears that he’d deny later formed in his eyes. They all deserved it.

When they start moving to the reception, Sokka lets himself take a second to think about what his wedding might look like. He’d never been to a Fire Nation wedding, let alone one that mingled with his tribe. That was, assuming he would be marrying Zuko. Which was probably kind of presumptuous, and maybe too soon, but he brushed that off. He was pretty sure he knew what he wanted. Seeing Aang and Katara get married made him even more positive. He took in the man walking beside him and threw a smile his way when their eyes met. Not now, but someday. Someday soon, hopefully.

But when the party started, they were pulled in two different directions.

Sokka knew he’d be spending a lot of time at his sister’s side, and was looking forward to getting back into his protective big brother role. He rarely got to flex those muscles now that they rarely saw each other. He helped her avoid the nosy guests by stepping in and talking them up, he migrated around, making the rounds to see what people needed so her and Aang could have time to sit down and relax with each other, and sit next to her at the family table while the tradition Southern Water Tribe dinner was served.

He caught Zuko’s eye whenever he could. Always looking around for his boyfriend, who was never hard to find, since he and his uncle were the only firebenders there. They would trade grins and gestures and sometimes even make their way across the room to chat when Sokka was free.

“I can’t believe Aang is taller than me now,” Zuko grumbles as they watch the newlyweds dance in the center of the room. Sokka laughs deeply and nudges him on the shoulder.

It’s a good night. The whole gang is staying for the rest of the week, so they don’t soak up too much of each other’s time during the actual wedding, but they sneak out for a while to eat their cake. They laugh and throw food at each other and Toph complains about the cold of the snow but refuses the boots and snowshoes that keep getting offered to her. Suki thinks it would be funny to lean over to him and “whisper” (just loud enough for everyone to hear) to Sokka, asking him when he and Zuko were going to have their own wedding. Sokka sputters out a response and can practically feel Zuko’s blush radiating off of him, and rectified the situation by, of course, throwing more cake in her face.

The  _ only thing _ wrong with the night is that sometimes when he looks over at Zuko, mingling and talking with his fellow wedding goers, he feels that tug. A clenching of his heart, a lump in his throat, a fire in his gut.

The jealousy tug.

He notices Tarrahi, who was a kid when he left the Southern Water Tribe, twirl her hair and bat her eyes at him, and giggle at everything he says when he  _ knows _ Zuko is  _ not _ that funny.

People notice Zuko a lot,  _ obviously, _ because he’s stunning and who wouldn’t want a piece of that? But people are too scared to actually flirt with him in the Fire Nation, so he hasn’t had to deal with the primal feeling that courses through his veins when he sees Zuko with somebody else in a long time. He feels angry for no reason, and is jumpy when Katara asks him what’s going on.

The next time he looks over, he sees some Earth Kingdom dude with his hand on Zuko’s shoulder, leaving it there a little bit too long.

Sokka tells himself that he can’t keep doing this. That nobody is doing anything  _ wrong _ and that it wouldn’t matter anyway, because him and Zuko are solid. But then he sees Lin, who’s the Northern Tribe ambassador and should know better than to be falling all over him on the dance floor as he awkwardly waltzes with her.

Sokka can’t get over there fast enough, heart beating fast and jaw clenched. Zuko sees him coming first, the immediate grin on his face falls a little bit when he sees the look on Sokka’s face, rolling his eyes as he stomped towards him and throws his arm around him, tucking him into his side. Lin takes a step back, apparently she sees the look on Sokka’s face, too, because she murmured a quick hello before stumbling away to the nearest table.

Zuko gives him a look, and Sokka pretends he doesn’t know why. And then he’s grabbing Zuko by the hand and leading him away from the party, finding a small room tucked away in the back of the large igloo that was filled with coats and hats.

“You’re ridiculous,” Zuko mutters in between kisses, but Sokka already has him against the wall with hands down his pants.

“You’re mine,” Sokka counters with, 

“Everyone already knows that,” Zuko says softly, eyes shifting to the door every few seconds but making no move to stop Sokka as he gets down on his knees and starts fumbling his belt off. “You didn’t need to scare Lin off like that. Or throw death glares at all the people.”

“Well then maybe you’re the one that needs a reminder,” Sokka teases, looking up to lock eyes with him before taking him completely into his mouth. Zuko lets out a loud moan and goes still, scared eyes flickering around to make sure no one heard him before settling back against the wall and tangling his hands in Sokka’s hair. Sokka moaned when he felt a tug at his roots, and sucked harder. Bobbing his head and licking the shift and grazing his teeth until Zuko is an absolute wobbly mess and coming into his mouth. (It doesn’t take long.)

Zuko reaches for Sokka’s dick when he comes back up to kiss him on the lips, but Sokka pushes his hands away.

“You don’t want…?” Zuko asks, confused and still a little hazy. Sokka smirks and shakes his head.

“Not right now, sweetheart,” he says, and Zuko whimpers and pulls Sokka closer. He leans in to whisper in his ear, “You’re gonna think about what I’m gonna do to you for the rest of the night.”

Sokka doesn’t leave his side for the rest of the night, and ignores the looks he gets from his sister. Now, the night really  _ is _ perfect.

  
  


**_v. Izumi_ **

Sokka had always wanted to be a father.

If you asked him what he imagined his life being like as a kid, the answer would’ve been easy. Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, either fighting in or rebuilding from the war, living a few igloos away from his dad and Katara, with a family full of warriors. He loved the idea of having sons and daughters that he could guide through life. Teaching them everything he knew. And he knew, no matter how many wars he fought in or people he saved, he would never be fully complete until he was a father.

When his life began to change, he had to rethink his priorities. When he married Zuko, he knew they’d likely spend the rest of their lives in the Fire Nation. And he wouldn’t be chief of the Water Tribe. He certainly wouldn’t have a wife. But he still wanted kids.

Zuko was hesitant at first. It made sense. Of course it did. His parents had fucked him up beyond belief. But he needed an heir. He had brought up the idea of changing royal law, abolishing the royal family and becoming a democracy like the Southern Water Tribe, where the Chief was elected. But it was too soon. He had made so many changes, big changes, since he was crowned. He couldn’t risk it, not yet. So he needed a child, of his blood.

But even if that wasn’t the case, Zuko is sure he’d give Sokka just about anything he wanted.

Sokka didn’t mind the child being Zuko’s, biologically. He knew it wouldn’t make him any less of a father. So when Zuko finally came to him, hands shaking when he told him that he would be expected to produce one soon, there was no pain on Sokka’s face. No sadness. No confusion. Just complete and utter joy.

“We’re gonna be dads,” he whispered into Zuko’s hair when he pulled him into a hug. Zuko smiled against his chest, letting his nerves wash off of him, replaced by Sokka’s hushed excitement.

So yeah, they were doing this.

The logistics were not nearly as fun as fatherhood, though. Sokka was sure of it. Because the logistics meant that Zuko needed to procreate. He needed to have sex with a woman. A woman who, obviously, was not Sokka.

Zuko suggested Mai at first, which was a firm “No” from Sokka. He knew she was one of his husband’s closest friends. He knew that she was a lesbian. He knew that she would be a good choice. But she was also his ex-girlfriend. She was who Zuko had his first kiss with, who he lost his virginity to. They were betrothed since childhood, before he was banished. And that was too much history. Sokka couldn’t handle it. Zuko understood, of course, and never brought her up again.

Sokka pushed Suki, his own best friend/ex-girlfriend, which may have been hypocritical but it was _Zuko_ that she would be having sex with, so it didn’t really count. But that didn’t last long, either, because Zuko reminded him that the Kyoshi Warriors can’t have children. Oh well. It was worth a try.

Sokka very, very briefly considers Katara. But it didn’t take long to push that as far away from his brain as possible.

They settle on a stranger. Someone who will consent to carrying the child and then go back to their life as it was. The woman they find is kind, and beautiful, and discreet. Una has no problem having a child for the Firelord and his husband. She bows to them when they come to meet her to discuss her contract, thanking him for all he’s done for their nation. They offer her medical care and comfort for when she is pregnant, and a large sum of money when she has the child. They tell her that if all goes well and they choose to have another child, she would be the first they come to, but she was not obligated to carry more than one.

Sokka should be ecstatic. And he is, underneath it all, but it’s covered by something else. He can feel that twisting in his stomach when they talk about their lying together. It’s clinical and unromantic, but it still sets him on fire. He wants to wrap his arms around Zuko and tell him that they’ll find another way. But he bites his tongue, and holds onto him extra tight when they go to sleep. Zuko knows something is wrong, but doesn’t bring it up. Neither of them do. Because they know if either of them speak up, they’ll do everything they can to make the other comfortable. And they want their child too much for that.

Una is tracking her cycle, of course. Zuko and Sokka are lounging in their chambers when Taizu comes to give them the news that she is fertile. It’s a short window, they know that he has to go. And they know where he’s going.

Zuko had asked him if he wanted to be there. If that would help, at all. Sokka declines. He couldn’t imagine anything worse. Seeing Zuko touch someone else, the sounds he thought were reserved just for him, the way he looked when he came. He couldn’t do it. Once Taizu leaves, he plasters a smile on his face, gives Zuko a big kiss, and jerks him off until he’s close. Then he patters away, off to fuck another woman.

And Sokka sits and waits.

He should do something. Get up and distract himself. He doesn’t. He lies alone in bed and counts the seconds, mind unable to wander from what was going on a few doors down. He felt like a stranger in his own home, in his own body, a fraud that couldn’t give his husband what he needed. It was so much worse than any jealousy he’d felt before, because this time it was irrational. He wasn’t upset because of a past fling or an unrequited crush. His blood didn’t boil and he didn’t want to push Zuko against the wall to show him who he belonged to. He didn’t even know if he’d be able to look at him when he came back.

He closed his eyes, and imagined what it would be like when they had their child. A bundle of blankets with a baby with Zuko’s eyes in the middle, staring up at Sokka and calling him Papa. He held onto it, because it was the only thing stopping him from falling apart.

He doesn’t spend much time away. 

“Have fun?” he finally says. It’s supposed to be a joke, probably, but it doesn’t sound like one to Zuko. Or feel like one to Sokka.

“Of course not,” Zuko’s face is crinkled and gloomy, and Sokka wants to kiss it away, but when he steps closer he smells the fragrance of flowers and vanilla and knows it’s Una’s perfume. It makes him wince, and Zuko moves away from him, going straight to the bathroom where a bath has already been drawn.

Sokka follows him, sitting on the floor while Zuko washes himself. His body is still flushed, pink everywhere, his dick is limp and shiny before he wiggles a bit to settle himself in the bath. He knows Sokka’s eyes are on him, sees the way he won’t take them off but won’t come any closer. He hates it. He needs to be held, he needs to hear Sokka’s voice whisper breathy affirmations in his ear. He feels disgusting and  _ dirty.  _ Covered in sweat and smells that aren’t his own, they aren’t even Sokka’s. He needs to hear that they’ll be okay.

He rubs soap all over himself, haphazardly getting water on the floor in his pursuit to scrub the evening off of him.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Sokka says softly when he scratches himself on accident.

“With soap?”

Sokka snorts a little bit through his nose, and holds his hand out for Zuko’s shampoo. It had become a common thing for them, washing each other’s hair. Especially when things were particularly stressful or miserable. Zuko smiled when he handed it over, and sighed deeply as he felt Sokka starting to massage his scalp. His hair was getting so long. Sokka took it in while he let the strands fall through, twisting and lathering. Zuko continued scrubbing at his body, all but tearing his skin away in the process.

Later, they got into bed and wrapped around each other. Sokka breathed in Zuko, revelling in his scent.  _ Smoke and firelily. _ Zuko’s eyes are wet, he tries to tell the tears not to fall. When one does, Sokka kisses it away quickly.

“I’m sorry,” he says, more than once that night.

But Sokka shakes his head and holds him tighter. They agreed that this was best. The agreed that it was worth it. And it would be. So instead of protesting, he whispers in his ear, “We’re gonna be dads.”

They don’t have any other children. Sokka won’t have his family of little warriors, that can make up a whole army by themselves. But when he sees Izumi for the first time, with golden eyes and a dark mop of hair, grabbing on his finger with her tiny, tiny hand, he knows he doesn’t need anything else.

  
  


**_+Zuko’s Turn_ **

Sokka was pretty sure Zuko either didn’t get jealous at all, or he was clueless enough to not notice

It’s not like it’s a  _ bad _ thing, Sokka knows that he overreacts every time anyone even looks at Zuko the wrong way, and that’s probably worse. But it’s just kind of annoying. Because their relationship, so far, has been mostly secret, and outside of their bedrooms and the few dates outside of the palace they were able to have, Sokka wouldn’t even be able to know anything had changed between them.

The first time Nyka, with whom he had a very flirty relationship before he started things with Zuko, comes up to him after the big kiss, she immediately goes into their old routine. They’d talk under the guise of giving him notes for his weekly meetings, but she wasn’t shy about playing with his hair or letting her hands feel his muscles. It wasn’t going anywhere, even before, but it was fun.

Him and Zuko were sitting in the dining hall for breakfast when it happened. They kept their distance, for Zuko’s sake, who said they couldn’t go public yet, which Sokka relented was probably a good idea. They sat next to each other, but Sokka was practically sitting on his hands to avoid touching the Firelord. Sometimes Zuko would catch him reaching out and stopping himself, and gave him a wink and a smile, and Sokka decided that almost made up for it.

Nyka sat right next to him. She started with a giggle about Sokka avoiding her and wasted no time stealing a bite of his breakfast (which, rude), and trailing a finger down his biceps as she told him about a trades agreement meeting in an unnecessarily sultry voice.

Sokka braced himself for what was about to come. If it was him, he would be carting Zuko away and being delightfully passive aggressive to the person talking to him. If not aggressive aggressive. He scooched his chair back a little, just far enough for her hands to drop, and looked toward Zuko, ready to tell him that there was nothing going on.

But then he realized, Zuko wasn’t even looking at them.

He was reading his paper and sipping on his coffee like his boyfriend wasn’t getting hit on _ right in front of him _ .

Sokka coughed, putting his chair back where it was. Zuko looked up, catching his eyes with a quizzical look.

How is it that Zuko, who was nervous about  _ everything _ , didn’t bat an eye.

Sokka huffed and tried to act professional anyway, letting her down easy. She seemed to get the message, and stuck to relaying messages. She gave him a friendly smile when she left, and sat at the other end of the table with her own food.

“That was kinda weird, huh?” Sokka half-whispers to Zuko. He shrugs, but at least he finally puts the paper down. 

“What am I going to do?” Zuko asks incredulously when he brings it up later that night, rolling his eyes way into the back of his head. Sokka didn’t even know his left eye could go back that far. “Be jealous of the  _ moon?” _

“I just don’t understand why you’re so cool with it,” and also,  _ maybe. _

“Sokka…” he took a deep breath, apparently taking in the fact that they were really about to have this conversation. And it’s about to be a serious one. “I know you. You’re like that with everyone.”

“That’s--” Sokka wanted to argue, but he knew it was true. What could he say? He couldn’t help being so charming and friendly and utterly  _ suave _ .

“I can’t mess this up,” Zuko said quietly, taking Sokka’s hand and now he was seeing the absolute shimmering gold in his eye. “I can’t get mad at you for being who you are. I’ll lose you.”

“I guess…” Why  _ was _ Sokka feeling so weird about it. He tried to think, but the best he could come up with was, “I guess I just feel childish. That I can’t handle seeing you with other people, but then you see me and you’re all  _ mature _ about it.”

“I had to be okay with seeing you with other people for a long time, Sokka,” and that breaks Sokka’s heart a little bit, his face falls and he sees the way that Zuko’s bottom lip is quivering every so slightly, so he squeezes his hand. “I also have a lot of… experience not dealing with my feelings. It’s not that I don’t care. I just have to believe that it doesn’t mean anything.”

“It doesn’t,” Sokka assures him. Of course. Of course it’s all more of Zuko's self-sacrificing attitude, he always puts others first. He always thinks his own emotions are invalid, something to be kept secret. Pulling him into a hug, wrapping his arms around the cloaked body and running his fingers through the silky hair, he murmurs, “I don’t want you to feel like you have to hold things in, with me.”

“I know,” he hears back. “I’ll try.”

They stay there for a while. When Sokka tries to pull away, Zuko’s hands don’t move from his torso, keeping Sokka pressed against him.  _ Now who’s needy? _ Sokka wants to tease him, but refrains because he worries that it would make him actually move, which he definitely doesn’t want.

“Besides,” Zuko says against his chest, “If every time someone is interested in you, I freaked out like you do with me? I’d have practically no time for official Firelord business.”

**Author's Note:**

> I finished it! Yay! Let me know what you think! I need to work on the characterization of these guys more, I think I tend to get a little too OOC, but I'm so glad to be writing at all! I have tons of ideas for Avatar fics, including sequels to my Maybe There's Room... story, but let me know what you guys want to see.
> 
> Stay safe! <3


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